I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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