Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
