Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
