We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
