dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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