when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
