I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
