My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
