i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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