Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
