she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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