I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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