You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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