Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
