sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
