i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
