Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
