pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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