you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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