your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
