My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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