38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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