You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
