I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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