I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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