You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
