Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
