if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
