Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
