remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
