ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
