I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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