I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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