I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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