they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
