He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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