this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
