I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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