planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
