I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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