Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im six kinds of drunk right now
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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