your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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