her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
MIDGETS
????
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
