You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize