I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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