This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
