this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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