yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
