i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
