The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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