What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
