You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
