There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
