i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
