we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
