either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
