at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
