So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
