I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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