You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
