Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
